A flicker

Graeme and I did an 18 mile run today. My legs felt tired from the outset, the wind howled and the rain was torrential. It was the bleakest of days to be honest.
Just before 5 miles I asked for the key and said I was going home. I held on to that key until I got to 5 miles and then gave him it back and decided to keep going.

When we got to 9 miles Graeme asked if I would slow down as he was finding keeping up with me difficult (that has to be a first). I told him I was finding it hard keeping up with his walking pace and it was hurting my shins to stride out so much. We slowed down to accommodate each other and decided it probably wasn't wise to run together again.

Just before 14 miles I had been feeling very achy. Every muscle in my legs was overtired and on the verge of cramp, so Graeme went ahead as he was feeling much better than I was. It was just after this that I began running again and kept getting slight twinges in my calves. I ignored them but not for long as the worst cramp I have ever experienced hit my right calf. It went as solid as a rock and I had to lie down at the side of the road. I can't tell you how painful it was, and it wouldn't ease up. I remember reading a couple of weeks ago that you should "help" it cramp fully which would hurt but would sort it out. I "helped" only to shout out as it completely and utterly knacked. It began to ease and then re cramped... and then for the third time eased slightly and then came back with a vengeance. I didn't know what to do and just lay there by the side of the road frightened to move. After a good 5 minutes it subsided enough that I could stand up and start walking... averaging a 15:50mm. I managed to walk the 4 miles home like this, but I felt like crying and felt very disappointed in myself. My training just hasn't gone to plan for about 3 weeks now and I couldn't help but have a flicker of doubt about everything.

I have since then told myself off for being so negative. Shit happens! I know a bloke who is about to run the Spartathlon who is an absolutely brilliant ultra runner and he has recently been through a tough time, DNF'ing all over the place. It even happens to the good ones so it's going to happen to someone as inexperienced as me too! Sometimes you just have to give yourself a slap, forget the bad stuff and get on with it!

So, I have spent all day stretching my calves. My right one that cramped feels a little tender, which I presume is to be expected. I have decided to bite the bullet and go and see the physio for a sports massage. I'm quite scared I don't mind admitting, as I know it's going to be painful. I have a feeling this is the whole reason behind the calves cramping, as all this week they have felt quite tight and I stupidly haven't stretched to compensate. The fact they are cramping earlier on in the run makes me realise I need to get it sorted now before I injure myself!

And as my diet has changed, this is something else that needs addressing. I have lost half a stone in a week (which most women would be well chuffed with) but for me this is not good. I'm eating enough that I'm not hungry but I maybe need to make sure I get more calories or something.