The smell of failure

I was sure the weekend would bring lots of enjoyment and fun and make me feel good... part of it did (dinner out with friends) and the rest of it was a damp squib!
The Race for Life should have been a good laugh, but I found the whole thing quite irritating. I'm not one for big crowds, but ignored all of that for the sake of my mam... but they ended up irritating her too because only a short way into the run and the course turned into a pathetic little wood where you were forced to go single file. My mam really wanted to run at this point so it wasn't very good as everyone in front for quite a way walked the whole thing! Then the hills started and it really took it out of her, along with the heat. I have to commend her fully however, as she kept a forward motion the whole way unlike a lot of other women who stood at the top of some of the hills resting. The important thing is she feels a great sense of achievment and wants to do another race. I'm very proud of her.

Lunch was very late because of the race, so by the time I got home I didn't have the "get up and go" to get up and do anything. So, deadlifts and upper body session skipped!
Yesterday I woke up feeling really depressed and couldn't figure out why. This feeling was with me for the whole day, and when I got home I was looking forward to a run to blow the cobwebs away. It was very hot, and as I couldn't find my usual suncream, I used a Piz Buin one that I used to use when racing a couple of years ago.
Instantly my mind flashed back to London marathon, and the smell made me feel sick. It reminded me of nightmare races (London and Marrakech were the first ones brought to mind). If it is true that a smell can remind you of failure, then maybe I need to find a new suncream smell... one of success!
At the one mile point of the run, my stomach was in terrible pain... a horrible cramp. It was so bad I was doubled over at the side of the road. Cars with nosey onlookers slowed down to see what I was doing. It was the worst mile walk home I have ever done. I walked through the door, picked the suncream up by the end of the tube and chucked it in the bin. The smell made me feel so sick that I couldn't bear to have it in the room with me. I had a shower which still didn't get rid of the smell on my skin, but I felt better after an hour or so when the cramping stopped. It seems the very healthy "Superfood salad" I had had for lunch that day was maybe a little too much for my digestive system. I'll not have that again!

Later on, I decided to take advice and look for a race to do to try and get my motivation back. The Race for Life had not been a total loss... one of the things both my mam and me found was our feet felt very achy by the end because of the trail surface... I needed to find a trail race to help me on my way! I found Grimsthorpe half marathon and then got an email from William asking did I have a race in mind as a build up. What a coincidence eh?

So, I've entered Grimsthorpe and a few others are doing it too... party on! And I now actually WANT to go for a run... good job really... it's intervals today! My receptionist has also told me about a cycle/walk path near her house. It goes on for 122 miles all the way to Whitehaven and is a trail surface... so I think I've found a good place to do my long runs in future! :-)