Head full

I have a head full of stuff and I can't sleep. I'm hoping that if I blog about it, I will be able to go back to bed with an emptier mind!

My puppy got his kennel name today, and we chose it. He is called "Mountsett Khalid Kahn". This means "Immortal Prince". I have all these worries that something awful will happen to him... and I know it's because I've allowed another dog into my life and I'm scared something will go wrong and I'll have all the heartache of losing him, just like I lost George. This is of course, totally silly and irrational.... but I was superstitious enough to call him an Immortal Prince because of this.
I think about how walking him along the beach banks is going to be fabulous, how his first experience of snow is going to be really funny, and how when he gets his daft half hour and runs around the house and then all of a sudden flops down and falls asleep will make us laugh... and I know it's going to be great. I also think about how I'll be trying to steer him away from muddy puddles, trying to stop him rolling in dead seagulls on the beach and telling him off for chewing my work shoes... and I know it's all going to be good fun in an irritating sort of way. :-)

My back is really aching today... more so than yesterday. During my intervals yesterday it felt quite achy, and today I woke up to find it was feeling a little sore. It seemed to feel a bit worse after running again today, although some anti inflammatories have worked wonders. It is aching in such a way, that you would think I'd ran a long way. I used to get a bad back when I ran LSR's of 15+ miles, and even resorted to doing back raises last year to try and combat it. A recent email from Shaun said that they would be really pushing me now and that running for a very long time will seem easy compared to what I'm about to do in training. I like the sound of that, however I'm in no doubt I'm in for some serious DOMS days!
I'm very careful about my technique for deadlifts (and squats for that matter). I wear flip flops so there is no "relief" from the cushioning of a running shoe, I lift with one "under hand" and one "over hand" and I am constantly checking I'm in the right position so as not to injure myself. I really enjoy this side of my training, which is a good thing considering what they have in store for me in the future...

I just have this urge to run and run and run. If I was talented enough, I'd take off with a phone and a credit card and end up somewhere random 3 days later. I don't need company on a run. I know a lot of people who hate LSR's... these people tend to be members (or aspiring members) of the 100 Marathon club (or a similar ambition), as they prefer to do their long runs in races. I am married to such a person!
I don't need support... in fact I often find support extremely irritating. "You're nearly there", after 3 miles and 23.2 miles to go is just downright shit in my books (although meant well). I hate it when people clap and say how well I'm looking... don't lie to me, I know I look like a bag of shit. I hate it when people say "well done, you're doing brilliant", because I'm so knackered and out of breath, I don't have the energy to say thank you and feel rude for ignoring them!
So, give me a situation where nobody really pays much attention to me... LSR's or very small races, and I'm in my element.

I'll also never be happy with whatever it is I can run. I want to run Comrades, and if I do it and earn a copper medal... would I want to go back and get a bronze one the following year? Probably not! I've only ever ran the same race twice for GNR and London. I won't be doing either of them again. Life is too short and there are too many fabulous places in this world, so to always go back to the same races seems a waste (although finances can put payed to this ideal of course). I also feel like this about holiday destinations!!! I never go back to the same place twice.
If I can run 56 miles, what next? Well, I'd probably want to run 70 next time. I will never achieve in my lifetime every running aspiration I have. I see others who are burning out and need a break because they have achieved their long term goals. My goal posts will just keep moving, I really do believe that.

Well I really have waffled and waffled and waffled, but it's done the trick and I'm now ready for bed. Sometimes you just have to spill out your thoughts and allow a quieter and more peaceful mind! Goodnight!