Taking your head for the journey first (Thames Path 100)

It was 4.45am and I was wide awake. I was nervous as I lay there in the dark trying to get just another 10 minutes sleep. The sleep didn't come and in a vain attempt to try and make the nerves easier, I went into the bathroom and started to run the bath. I was only in there 10 minutes when Graeme popped his head around the door and asked if I wanted a cup of tea. He made me a lemon detox tea and once out of the bath I sipped it and nervously nibbled on a cherry bakewell flapjack. It took me nearly an hour to eat it, but I was determined to at least have something on my stomach. At 7am we knocked on Sebbys' and Pauls' door for breakfast. I payed £6.25 for the privilege of a cup of coffee made with a sachet I could have got free from the room and a bite of two sides of a slice of toast. For some reason, I thought that eating a bite from the opposite side would taste better than the first bite. It didn't.

We drove down to the registration point at about 8am and as I walked through the door a man I had met during last years' The Wall race greeted me and said he had read my blog. We chatted for a while and then someone ushered me upstairs to have my kit checked. Despite the original list, I was only asked for a few things... my headtorch, my emergency light, my survival blanket and my map. All those checked, I was given a token that looked something like a casino chip and directed to where I would pick up my number. Number signed for, waiver signed so all responsibility for my current fitness was relinquished from the organisers and I was good to go. I walked back downstairs and chatted again to the same bloke, who I'm afraid I had to ask his name (I'm terrible with names, always have been). It was Dave.

I went outside to see if I could find Graeme, Sebby and Paul, and they were just outside the door. Sebby said she had spoke to someone and said she was looking for her runner and was told she wasn't allowed upstairs due to restricted room. Just the phrase, "I'm looking for my runner" made my stomach churn. Oh my God... I am that runner!!! The weather was beautiful and so we sat outside in the sunshine. A man came up and asked if I was Claire and it turned out to be Matt from Vegan Runners. He said he was hoping for an 18 hour finish and I just couldn't get my head around that sort of time. I was praying for a sub 28 hour finish. He was a really nice chap and we talked for a while before I decided to go for a last loo stop before the race briefing and then the impending doom!

The loo queue was full of women literally looking like the world was about to end. If I heard the phrase, "I'm shitting myself" once, I heard it half a dozen times. One lady (who I later found out was called Diane) was telling me I was going to be roasted in the heat as I was covered up too much. I was intending to take my jacket off anyway, but she thought the tights were too much too. She wore shorts and a vest top and said she had a total inability to sweat. I couldn't imagine not being able to sweat!

So, loo stop done, we went into the briefing and were asked who was about to embark on their first 100 mile race. I nervously raised my hand with a number of others and there was applause. Then they asked who was going the Grand Slam and a few crazy people put their arm in the air, receiving more applause. James, the race director said we weren't all going to make it and to look out for each other. I prayed I wouldn't be one of those who didn't make it. Today meant everything to me. My head had already taken the journey to the end, I now just needed my body to follow it.

And then it was time to go. We waited outside and at exactly 10am, we were off.

It was a slow start (not that I'm complaining) and to be honest, almost everyone walked due to the initial congestion. Once you got going, it was a stop again to get through a kissing gate. A lot of people ran over to a wrought iron fence and jumped over it. I could just imagine getting impaled on it and so waited my turn in the queue instead. The weather was getting warm already. Maybe Diane was right and I shouldn't have worn tights. To be honest though, I haven't had any decent weather to run in this year and I have been plagued with windy cold conditions where I live, so tights just seemed the 'norm'. I watched others at this point and was amazed by some peoples' running style. There are people who look like they have already done 50 miles and drag their feet along but at the same time you just know they are going to be good at what they are doing and at some point you won't see them for dust. I stopped to walk on my first 3 minute walk break and a lady ran past and said she presumed this walking so early on was all part of a structure. I said it was and she nodded in approval and said good luck. Those first few miles went by nicely despite the fact it was getting warmer and warmer. I thought the marking of the course was excellent as every time I thought that I hadn't seen any course markings for a while, sure enough, you'd see a white and red strip of tape guiding the way. I expected to have to spend ages looking at my map but I hadn't even took it out of the backpack yet. The scenery was very pretty. I presumed I was right near the back of the field but it didn't bother me at all. 100 miles is a very long way.

As I went through the first aid station at 11 miles somebody said, "Ah, you must be Claire", to which I replied, "Ah, I must be last then". Apparently I wasn't, so how they knew I was Claire I don't know. I was offered food but declined and said I needed to get on my way and a man shouted, "Can I have your vegan jelly beans then please?". I laughed and said, "Of course" and was amazed that they had anything vegan this early on. I'd been told Reading was a "Vegan food heaven aid station" and even that was better than any other race I'd entered before. Maybe more race organisers should be as accommodating. Graeme met me at about 12 miles and they swapped over my soft flasks with cold water, gave me a carton of coconut water, some avocado and 2 bananas. He said he had seen Giles who was about 10 minutes ahead. I had met Giles while doing the Wall last year and we had done the last 19 miles together along with a bloke named Ben. Apparently Giles was really happy to hear that I was in the race and said he looked forward to me catching him up so we could have a chat. I was two-ing and fro-ing with a couple who were running together and at one point didn't quite know which way to go. I ran one way and they came from another so I asked had I just missed a load of the course out by accident... no I'd missed one building. I could live with that... it wasn't like I'd cut the course short by 2 miles or something. The route changes were going to be about 2 miles longer due to flooding, so I'd definitely get my 100 miles done, that was safe to say.

It was now starting to get really hot. I needed the loo and although I didn't want to stop and faff around putting shorts on, I ummed and ahhed over whether I should. The only thing with that would be I would THEN need to change back later in the day as it got cold. I'm rubbish in the cold, and the thought of the weather turning suddenly made me think I had best stick to the tights. There were a few places I could have gone to the loo but I didn't want to waste time. I'd wait until the next aid station at 22 miles. My stomach felt a little dodgey and I wasn't sure if it was all of the bananas I was eating or the fact I needed a wee. Bananas hadn't bothered me before!

At 22 miles, I knew this was the first aid station where people would be able to see where I was on the tracking system. A few people had said they were going to track me but in all honesty I thought they probably wouldn't find the time on a sunny bank holiday weekend such as today. I checked in, went to the loo, nicked a couple of oranges off the table and said a very quick hello to Sara who was there supporting Mari. I ran up the field and Graeme, Paul and Sebby were there ready to give me more food a large swig of Gatorade which tasted like nectar, and a carton of coconut water to take with me. Giles had gone through only 5 minutes earlier Graeme said. I grabbed a bag of crisps and continued on my way. I'd only been gone 5 minutes when I regretted picking the crisps up as I couldn't be bothered to carry them. I opened them, had one crisp, thought "Urghhh" and shoved them in a pocket somewhere, never to be seen again!

This next section wasn't so good. I was looking at the time and working out how much longer the sun would be out. I was suffering in the heat and looked on in amazement as I saw a couple running together and the woman wore a big thick fleece. She didn't even look that warm! I had started to ignore my Gymboss beeping telling me to run 6 minutes and walk 3. Instead I was run/walking 6 minutes and then walking the whole 3 without running. I saw this as counterproductive and so switched it off. At least this way I would run through some of the 3 minute walk bits too. I started to feel very sick with the heat and for once wished there was abit of wind to cool me down. I'd whinged about all of the windy weather I'd ran in recently, but would have loved it now. I was finding things really tough and there seemed to be a lot of steps to climb up and down and roads to cross. One bloke stopped every now and again by a car with an older couple in who I presumed were his parents. Graeme rang to say he couldn't work out where to meet me as he wasn't allowed at the next aid station. I told him I was feeling really sick and asked if he could bring me the bottle of Gatorade when he found a way of getting to me. I can't remember much about the next aid station, only that my barcode on my bib was scanned here. I was asked did I need electrolytes and declined the offer. I took another 2 segments of orange and left immediately. It amazed me how many people fanny on in aid stations. Why waste so much time? I didn't get it.

By the time Graeme and the others got to me I was a bit of a mess. I felt incredibly sick, too hot, and I was walking a lot to try and put myself right. I'd gone through all of those thoughts, such as, "Why am I doing this? Why do I do it when I'm clearly no good at it? God... do I even LIKE running anymore?" Those thoughts used to concern me. Now I know it's just a phase I go through, and I know I can pull myself out of it too.

I grabbed a coconut water carton to take with me, some salted peanuts and half a bottle of Gatorade. I walked on straight away without faffing on and started to sip the Gatorade. It didn't quite taste the heavenly substance it had done earlier but at least it was cold. I looked at my Garmin and worked out how many more hours it would be before the heat started to wane. I agreed with myself that it had already dropped 1 degree and every half hour I would feel 1 degree cooler. It took me an hour to drink the Gatorade, but I slowly started to pull round. The bloke whose parents were stopping now and again was ahead of me and I thought his walking pace was good. He had told me his race plans had gone out of the window with the weather and he was walking until it was much cooler then he would run if he felt he could. As his pace was so good, I would let him get almost out of sight and then run until I got about 5 metres behind him. I did this all the way to Cookham at around 38 miles. It was only when we reached Cookham that his parents saved the day and showed us where to go as the course markings were nowhere to be seen. Graeme had rang me earlier and said I was sitting down to have some soup here as I had barely eaten anything since last nights meal. I reluctantly agreed. I'm pretty good when it comes to being looked after during a race though. I become a bit like a child and although don't often like it, I do as I'm told. When I got to the aid station there was a few people sitting about. I was given my soup with a few spoons of rice mixed in for extra energy and I ate it like someone eats an undesirable meal on "Come Dine With Me", where they pull the food off the spoon with their teeth and try not to let their lips touch any part of it. I thought it was awful. The aid station marshall told me I was doing the right thing getting it down though. I was out of the aid station in 6 minutes and back on my way again. I took 2 paracetomol and codeine with me in the event I would need them later and more coconut water. It was getting cooler and I was feeling much better, so I started to run more frequently again.

During this next section, a few people I'd left at the aid station were creeping up on me. I had gone through a gate and shut it behind me only to find I'd shut it on another runner. I apologised for not looking back and he said it was fine. This person turned out to be Graham and we ran and walked quite a bit together over the next few miles. We passed a man who was hobbling and asked if he needed help but he said he was OK when we advised him he had another 4 miles to the next aid station. He had just had a cortisone injection in his foot for tendonitis a fortnight ago and Graham and I winced as we watched him decide it was time to run and off he went into the distance, leaving us like we were the injured ones! It wasn't long until Graeme and Paul met us on the bridge just before the aid station and gave me some Sudocreme for some unmentionable location where chaffing was occurring. I was just putting a large dollop on "said" area when a bloke ran up behind and said should I really be doing that in front of him. I laughed, at this point it was a bit like being in labour... you're in pain and you need something sorting. If someone is going to see your arse while you sort it out well then it pretty much doesn't matter at this moment in time. Luckily I didn't care, and neither did he. ;-) So, through the next aid station in less than 30 seconds, I left Graham and all of the others in there tending to blisters and what have you!

It became dusky now. I hadn't seen Sebby for the last couple of stops as she was trying to get some sleep ready for her running stint from the 51 mile point. I was really enjoying being out and while walking along I retrieved my head torch ready for when it became dark. The fields were very quiet and the chap who had seen me putting Sudocreme on passed me as he jogged along. He ran into a field full of cows and I watched as he slowed down going past them. One cow decided he was quite interesting and followed him along for some time before stopping on the path and letting him saunter off. I put my head down and without looking at any of the cows I slowly zig zagged through them to the gate. Phew! It was another field away when I saw the runner (who had just passed me) stop to put his head torch on. We exchanged greetings as I carried on and walked up the path. I was beginning to feel really good and started to run. I hadn't put my torch on yet as I was enjoying the dark stillness but was forced to when I couldn't see where the next course markings were. As soon as I put the head torch on everything lit up beautifully and I could see the reflective tape guiding the way. I was in my element and felt like I could have stayed in this moment forever. I still had my cap on and the way the light hit the ground made it look like I had something black under my eyes... a very weird sensation. I thought it best I change to a running cap for the rest of the night once I got to Henley. The last part of this section was fabulous. I could see a red flickering light ahead of me on the back of somebodies running pack. I wondered if it was Giles (as this red light was one of the mandatory kit on last years' Wall ultra) and so decided I'd try to catch him. On the way to doing that, suddenly the skies errupted in an array of fireworks and I smiled as I watched them. It felt like they were there just for me because I was over halfway. I caught up to the runner in front who turned out to be from Germany. He said he was tired but would be fine and I told him the aid station really was very close as I had recceed this part of the route. He was glad to hear it. On the final run in to the aid station I passed another runner who looked in dreadful pain and was not walking well at all. His race was over and he was dropping out at Henley. I asked him if he wanted me to help him into the aid station and he declined the offer but thanked me. I was gutted for him, but I can honestly say I think he was making the right decision. I ran into the aid station to see everyone there ready for me. I was checked in and Graeme ushered me to the car where they had soup and rice ready in a flask. Oh deep joy... another "Come Dine With Me" moment!!! I said they were putting too much in the bowl but later found out that when I turned away Paul had put even more in... Naughty!!!

Now I was no longer running alone and Sebby had joined me. We have never actually ran together properly, but I can honestly say it was great right from the word go. In fact, we had been running for an hour when I asked her how far we had ran and she said it was just over 3 miles. I jokingly told her she was obviously talking far too much and she should shut up. :-) We both needed a wee and it was only her brain being more together than mine that made me not get seen as she had to tell me to switch my head torch off. Doh! We passed another runner but were so deep in conversation it was only when he shouted, "Ladies, you've missed the turning" that we got ourselves back on track. Two minutes later, three runners came from the wrong direction... they had missed the turning too. It turned out to be Giles so we had a quick hug, asked how each other was and he said he was pushing on. Paul rang me and asked what I wanted at the next aid station. I had started to feel sick and couldn't think what I would need. He said he would ring me back in 10 minutes. I rolled my eyes and said to Sebby I wouldn't know what I needed in 10 minutes if I don't know now. 10 minutes later I got a more authoritive phone call telling me I was getting something to eat whether I wanted it or not. I remembered Reading was the aid station with all the vegan food (where the organisers had clearly gone all out to accommodate us), so I said I'd eat there and could they bring in my long sleeved X-Bionic top, another torch battery and some potatoes to take with me. Sebby didn't need anything. It was at Reading where I ate a vegan wrap and had a cup of coffee. The wrap would have tasted amazing and I'd have had about 4 of them in any other situation, but while running I seem to lose the ability to chew. I struggled but I got it down. I was ready for the next section after putting on my warmer top.

Once outside I was absolutely freezing. I had forgotten to ask for my fleecy buff and was devastated to find I'd lost my favourite buff earlier on in the day. Sebby said she could pull her jacket collar up and kindly gave me her buff, which I was extremely grateful for. I can't tell you how cold it had become as the sky was very clear with no cloud cover. The only good part about it was you could see a myriad of stars. We decided we wouldn't ring Graeme and Paul as the next place they were meeting us was only 4 miles away. At least this way they could get some sleep. I only needed another jacket and to change from Hokas to Salomon soft mud shoes, so they didn't need to do much. When we finally reached them, I knocked on the window and they were both really mad I hadn't phoned. When I said I didn't need much Graeme still said we should have phoned. He said he felt embarrassed they weren't ready for us and I told him I was more bothered that they at least get a little bit of sleep. He still wasn't impressed with me though. So, more layers added, we headed off for the aid station up the road that crew were not allowed at. We saw loads of people coming back down the road and I was surprised to be so close to so many people. Again, I was in and out of the aid station, only stopping long enough to give them my number and go to the toilet. The next section of the race was the only real "hilly" bit of the course, so we decided we would walk for the first bit until we hit the downhill section.

I have to say, walking through the woods in this part was really eerie. We could hear some animal in the distance (I don't even know what animal it was, but it sounded scary) and I admitted to Sebby that if I had been alone here I would have been quite scared. She agreed. For some reason my mind wandered and I found myself thinking about the film "An American Werewolf In London" and I scared myself a little bit more. Unfortunately, once through the hilly part, we weren't really able to run because it was very rooty and I was afraid I would fall and break my neck. i was beginning to feel really tired and I just wanted to close my eyes. Graeme met me within 4 miles with coffee and crisps and some chocolate covered coffee beans. I wanted to get going as I was constantly aware of cut off times. I'd kept a nice cushion of around an hour for some time, but I was worried that a longer section coming up would see me in trouble. I went into the aid station to check in and received a round of applause. They asked if I wanted food or something to drink but I said no and Giles who was there said, "Oh come on, are you going to overtake me again?". I laughed and said I'd already had my coffee and off we went. The aid station staff directed us to where we needed to go (Thank you) and we ran/walked across the fields which were starting to get really muddy now. Giles passed us again when I was trying to look where to go through a load of buildings and the fight to stay awake was becoming quite the battle! It was 6.5 miles to the next aid station and I struggled as the sun started to come up. Sebby was tired too and we would march as fast as we could. Wallingford was the next aid station and it just seemed forever away. Every time you got through one field another seemed to be waiting for you with no sign of civilisation. I started to go through that "I hate this, why do I even do it because I'm crap at it" thing. I couldn't even be bothered to try and talk myself into a better frame of mind. When the aid station finally came it was a huge relief. Again, I only stopped long enough to go to the toilet and get checked in after seeing Graeme and Paul just beforehand and collecting potatoes and coconut water from them. I knew the next section had a diversion so I was dreading it. It was about 2 miles long and I prayed it didn't mean we had to do 9.5 miles to the next aid station instead of 7.5. I think I sort of hoped they had managed to cut it shorter as we were sort of going in the right direction. I still had about 55 minutes to the cut off but having to do an extra 2 miles could potentially take 40 minutes off that.

The diversion went on for what felt like miles. I was so miserable and everyone I passed I felt sorry for because I knew I was cutting it fine, so they were in real trouble! We passed one man who said he couldn't eat and was even throwing up after drinking water. He asked did we think we could still make the cut offs and I said only if we kept up the pace we were doing now. I had stopped running altogether now. I felt at my lowest point ever and despite it being light and warmer I was fighting to keep awake. Sebby would march on ahead of me at a certain pace and I just had to try and keep up with her. We would walk across fields and see 3 or 4 fields ahead with runners all along the route. It was the most defeating feeling I have ever experienced in a race. Every time you came to the end of a load of fields, you's turn a corner and see a whole load more. I wanted to cry. I didn't, what was the point of that? Graeme rang and asked where we were. I didn't know. The detour had put me in completely unknown territory and my Garmin was now way off as far as letting us know course mileage... it was now almost 4 miles over where we were, but at that time we didn't know that. Sebbys' Garmin made us think we were 3 miles away from the aid station, but this turned out to be a mile short too. I could see the race slipping away from me and I felt it was completely out of my control. Graeme phoned again... where were we? I could hear the panic in his voice. He said to look for a brick bridge. I couldn't see a brick bridge... I could just see fields... fields, fields and more fucking fields. He said he was waiting for me on the bridge. I was at the point where I just said, "Yeah, whatever". I just was at the end of my tether and said I wanted to go to sleep. Sebby said firmly to me, "Well, wake up and march". And like a huffy child, I did was I was told. And then, after what seemed like an eternity, I saw the bridge. I rang and said I wanted sunhat, suncream, vegan runners vest, co-codomol, Gatorade and Kendal mint cake. It was now a fight to get through the cut offs!

I got to the aid station with 20 minutes to the cut off but ended up taking 8 minutes here trying to change and get everything I needed. We were off as I covered my arms with factor 45 cream. Sebby marched on ahead and said she needed to keep me under 17 minute miles or we wouldn't make it. I told her to run to the next bit of tape. It hurt. We walked a while and I told her to run to the big tree. It was an awkward run which felt very unnatural but Sebby assured me it was doing the trick and we were now between 15 and 16 minute mile pace. "Run", I would say, and then "Walk". I felt like I was barking orders and apologised but she said it was good and to keep going. I moved in front and picked the pace up and Sebby told me the pace was impressive. I ate Kendal mint cake, and then I ate some more. At one point I saw what looked like a little gremlin looking at me from a waterlogged grassy verge. I looked again and saw it was just a big lump of long grass and not a green hair quiff of a gremlin. It amused me... my first hallucination!!!
We started overtaking people, always asking how they were as we passed. I ran as long as I could before I would get a sharp pain on the instep of my right foot and then I'd walk. Sebby just followed my lead and kept telling me how long to the next cut off and how much time we were making back. The time seemed to go nowhere, but we reached the next aid station and had gained 20 minutes back. I legged it down the river to an amazed aid station worker who shouted, "Wow, look at that pace after almost 95 miles"... Ah, so they knew the mileage was higher than it was supposed to be! That, at least, made me feel a little better. Graeme looked astounded at me. I didn't stop and ran straight past while Sebby got her Camelbak filled. I ran past more runners and then walked as my foot started to hurt again. Sebby caught me up and we continued doing our thing as I was literally high as a kite on sugar. I ate more kendal mint cake and I ran some more. When we got to the next aid station we had made another 5 minutes up and I now had 1 hour and 45 minutes to do the last 5 miles. I was finally safe!

A special thank you to Maria, who was at Lower Radley for this photo. I was finally starting to relax about cut offs here!

So, leaving the 95 mile aid station was a relief. I decided, as we had so much time in hand, I would take the "Damage limitation" option and stop any further risk of injury to the instep of my foot and we walked nearly all of the last 5 miles. I was very tired but very pleased too. As I went through 100 miles on my Garmin, Sebby and I did a little dance, and then we did the same at 101, and 102 and 103 miles. We passed other runners and exchanged grunts as we were all absolutely spent. People walking past would stop and clap and say well done and I even had an older gentleman say "Way to go vegan runner, I'm vegan too". I must have looked like a right dork as all I could muster was a thumbs up and an almost inaudible "Brilliant!" And then I realised the finish was there... right there!!! Sebby stepped on the other side of the tape as I ran the across the field and was given a cuddle and my finishers belt buckle from Nici on the finish line. Giles came through about 5 minutes later and I stayed there until they pulled the finishers banner down and the race was officially over. I genuinely could have cried for all of those who didn't make it. My heart just went out to them.

I'd like to say an absolutely huge thank you to all of the organisers, marshalls, aid station crew and supporters who followed me throughout my journey. Thank you doesn't seem enough to say to Sebby, Graeme and Paul who were all amazing and got me through (what was sometimes) very difficult times. I wasn't too good at the whole "walking" thing afterwards and I fell asleep on the toilet, then fell asleep in the bath, then fell asleep on the corner of the bed. I was much better the day after and I'm even better today. Thanks for reading....